I finished part one of Killing Williamsburg. Normally I don't read books like this, they tend to be too depressing for me. It's realistic, though, and that is rarely found in fictional books. Most books that I read are too good to be true - everyone is happy, or if they're distressed, they find happiness relatively soon, due to finding a new friend or succeeding in something. From reading this far, it seems like this book will not find a happiness like that.Killing Williamsburg is written with a simple structure. I'm not finding many new vocabulary, and the structure of the sentences are easy to read. The difficult part of reading this, however, is understanding what's actually going on. Spinelli goes from one setting to another as if it is all a dream, as if he doesn't completely comprehend where he is. Near the beginning, he explains that the way people learn in his city is through rumors, and he hears snippets of conversations as an ambulance races by. Then, he suddenly introduces a woman named Olive, who seems to be his girlfriend. Afterwards he's at a bar, and the short dialogue is back. Suddenly he's back in his apartment talking to his friends and roommates.
I was wondering through this section how Benson, the main character, got into such a low-life town. He views everything as if he's not really a part of it, as if he's a visitor who is confused and doesn't belong, yet at the end of the section he says, "This is all I've got. This is the life." Normally, when people say "this is the life," they mean that they are content with life and feel that they have reached the highest point of happiness. Benson, however, said it in a way that although he reached his highest point in life, he regrets that he is where he is. He's stuck in that city and has no way to find an escape, so he tries to make the best out of it. Since I heard at the book conversation a month ago that this book is about a "bug" that causes millions of people in the city to commit suicide, I have a feeling that the next section will describe the start of the epidemic.(This is a picture of the Williamsburg Bridge, a popular spot in the book for people to end their lives.)
Just to keep the blog less cluttered for the next couple weeks, I'll comment on here as I keep reading.
ReplyDeleteThis book is kind of disturbing me. In multiple ways. It's pretty mature, which surprised me. But the fact that it's realistic keeps me reading anyway. The events and situations could be real, and if they were outrageously explicit then I would've kindly set the book down and never picked up again for a while.
As I expected, part two brought the introduction to the suicides. Some of them were the common situations that are known about, but there was one quite disturbing image of a restaurant where couples and friends were hoping for an hour or two of peace and quiet, but then one man gouged his eyes out with his fork and somehow ended his life that way.
There was one "normal" chapter where Benson got a cell phone finally, and he discussed the convenience of having a cell phone. There's no more of the "hello" "may I speak to..." dialogue due to caller ID, so instead the conversation starts with "where are you?" He also said that, since he has a job as an electrician for parties and events, whenever he gets a call for a job that night, he has to respond right away with an answer of whether he can assist or not, because if he's a moment too late, someone will take the job from him. It reminded me of my mom's temporary job as a substitute teacher at NFA, since she needs to check the website every hour if she actually wants to go to work that week. Otherwise, another sub will take the job. It's stressful, and I can relate to that part in the book.
By page 96, Olive, Benson's girlfriend, starts to really get sick of what's happening. Benson was already accustomed to the situation. He even lost one of his friends, a bartender who gave him drinks frequently, due to drugging himself. The bartender died right before Benson's eyes and Benson simply said "Well, looks like I'm not getting my drink tonight." Olive felt that Benson was heartless for not caring at all for the people who are dying. Benson's response was that it's happening to everyone and although he does care, he's gotten numb to it. I understood what Benson was saying. If he were to let the tragedies overwhelm him, he might become just like one of those suicidal people. Whenever I get an overload of work, I don't let it overwhelm me. I just take it as something to do and to accomplish. In the same manner, if there's a lot of drama at school, I listen, but I don't react that much. Otherwise I become part of the drama and it won't be possible to escape it.
Olive ended up leaving to go back home in California not much later. This situation shows that the environment can reveal certain characteristics about people that could scare off close friends. If the suicidal frenzy didn't happen, Olive wouldn't know that Benson doesn't show his pain caused by the pain of others. Also, if the frenzy didn't happen, Olive wouldn't run back home. The situation revealed that no matter who she's with, she wants to be in a safe environment. She can't rely on a friend, even her boyfriend, to keep her safe in a dangerous situation.
ReplyDeleteBy the end of part two, almost all of Benson's closest friends killed themselves, and the strange thing is that he didn't react to that either. I think this lack of reaction is due to already being numb from the deaths of whom he wasn't close to, and now he's gotten numb to the deaths of whom he WAS close to. Olive would be horrified to know that Benson doesn't care that much that his friends took their own lives. Also, Benson still doesn't seem to be content that he decided to live in Williamsburg. He goes from day to day with his job, but he's constantly at the bar or at parties, wasting away on drugs and alcohol. People who are constantly high like that obviously have something wrong with them or with the environment around them. Maybe Benson IS being affected by the situation with the suicides, but he doesn't speak about it. He can only overcome the pain through self-damaging habits.
Part three, The Vulture's Beak, was where I started getting truly interested in the book. I can't seem to put the book down now. It tells the story when almost everyone killed themselves, and Benson lost everyone he knew. Now, Benson has to cope with being alone and becoming a leader.
ReplyDeleteAs I suspected, the drinking and smoking were ways to forget about his surroundings. By page 137, Benson expressed that he was doing a fairly good job of ignoring reality. He knew that what was happening was disastrous, and it actually was harming his sanity. The fear and sadness was locked up the entire time. He felt terrible for not being loyal to his girlfriend, Olive, while she was in California, and after he spent a week or so cooped up in his apartment, forgetting about the outside world, he came back out afterwards and realized that now was not the time to find love in the city anymore. He switched his priorities from partying and having fun to taking control and getting the city cleaned up. He even starts pondering the fact that he might be the cause for several of the suicides. Having thoughts like that in his mind leaves no room to think about partying.
Benson always had the personality to become a leader. At one point in his job, he decided himself that he wouldn't go home for a week - instead, he would sleep wherever he is and keep working day after day, night after night. It brought him a ton of money that ended up being useless in a few weeks. After Benson spent the week locked up in his apartment, a man came to the door and asked if he wanted to help clean up the city. This was a turning point in Benson's life. He went from being a lonesome man to a man with an important role in society. First, he was a follower, helping the man in charge to pick up the bodies and dump them in the ocean or on the garbage piles, but then, he realized that the organization might have been created by the government. Benson was angry at the government for not seeming to care that the entire city was disappearing, and so he decided that HE would take charge. He would lead a clean-up crew and hire volunteers to help him.
I found it interesting how Benson went from a blue-collar lifestyle, getting paychecks day by day and living the same day over and over again, almost seeming to hate his life, to an independent man who realized that something really was wrong. The way he said it near the beginning of the book, he was one of the first people to realize that this epidemic was going to kill everyone. No one else seemed to acknowledge the fact that it wasn't just a few suicides, but rather it was everyone following the lead of a few suicidals and everyone lost it.
Every few chapters, Benson gives a little lecture. He provides particular insight into what he's doing, or what he misses in the old reality, or he's simply cooking some bean soup. It allows the reader to take a step back from the insanity and to realize that this man is still sane and still thinks that what's going on isn't right. One chapter, especially on page 188, discusses the vulgarity of the situation. It destroys the living to their very cores. It doesn't bring them closer to death, but rather it brings them closer to life, to the "unending pain, unrelenting sorrow, limitless frustration, infinite sadness, capacious fear." He even compares it to a Greek legend about Prometheus: "Prometheus having his liver torn out and devoured only to have it grow back again."
ReplyDeleteThe third part of this book really delves into the hardships that a person can endure, and how difficult it is to not go insane throughout it all. I find Benson to be a very strong character. He lost EVERYONE he cared about. And now he has the job to pick up the bodies and not be compelled to become one of those bodies he's picking up. It really helps to make it more understandable that no matter what is going on in my life, or in anyone else's, it could be much worse. People come to forget how much they appreciate, whether it's the coffee they get from the coffee shop every day from that one nice lady, or the walk down the street and waving to neighbors, or even hearing people complain about their lives. When everyone's gone, the loneliness is unbearable, and even those annoying people become missed, because those people were alive. They had feelings, they had stories to tell. No longer having someone to converse with becomes depressing beyond belief.
Wow. The ending was a lot better than I expected.
ReplyDeleteSo part three was a lot more focused on survival and leadership. Benson was all on his own, with a group of volunteers, to clean up the city and keep everyone sane. The government didn't do much at all to help them. Near the end of the book, however, the government finally took a step forward to assist. There was a short chapter about the epidemic hurting the New York Stock Exchange. Since all of the brokers were gone and the billions of dollars that were traded between companies was no longer as feasible, it became clear that the epidemic could be hurting companies throughout the United States, or even throughout the world. This brought up an interesting point in my mind: if a problem doesn't affect a certain person personally, then that person will not do anything to help. It's similar to real life situations. For example, a person is much less likely to help those who were hurt in domestic abuse unless they knew someone close to them who was a victim. It's pretty selfish. The United States government would not react to the Bug until it became clear that hundreds of companies might run short on money.
I found the ending, before the epilogue, to be really sweet. Benson was on the phone with Olive, and Olive said that she wanted to come back to New York to live with Benson. Benson, however, said that she shouldn't live with him, since he changed so much, and he discovered that he's in love with everyone who's alive. I have a feeling that it took guts for Benson to admit to the one person he truly loved that they can't be together anymore. Like how a veteran of war can't view things "normally" anymore, he can't view people the same way after the epidemic. He's come to love everyone who found reasons to live.
Overall, this book had some very interesting features. I caught and understood references to some Greek legends, historic figures, and others, and I found an interesting new outlook on life. Enduring tense situations like this doesn't change a character, but rather it reveals a hidden characteristic that no one knew that person had. Also, sometimes, going against the flow of what's popular isn't right, especially if it's something this harmful. It takes courage and integrity to continue doing what one believes in and what one feels is right to go against the crowd and show that not everyone has to be exactly the same. It's one of those elementary rules that I noticed many people still don't recognize.